internet hiatus

I have been hiding.  Hiding from the face book world, hiding from all these feelings, but they are starting to bubble up again.  I am in a mood.  I know I am.  I know nothing set it off, but I think the high of the holidays has worn off and the current head cold that has taken residence in my head is taking a toll on me.  Ok, I feel better just putting that out there!

I had an u/s on Friday.  My ovaries were "too active" and my E2 was 67.  I told them I wanted to start off this cycle the best we could.  I was relieved when they didn't push to start this week.  I think I need another week to settle back home after the week of travels and don't get me started on the amount of stuff that still needs a home.

whew.  thats it for now.  I will check back in on the 4th after the next u/s....unless I go crazy first on these birth control pills.

IVF #2 Begins tonight

Tonight, I am starting the birth control pills again.  Tomorrow we are headed back to the RE's office to write a check for more money to hopefully make a baby. I am sure I will have lots more to update then.

I am sorry these blog post have been so horrible.   It has been a rough week.  I am basically just keeping track for myself for future reference.

IFV Day 33: 11dp3dt

11 days past 3 day transfer, 14 days past ovulation.

Today was an informative day.  My RE personally called me and we talked about all the reasons that this cycle didn't work.  We discussed when I wanted to move forward.  Basically, there is no medical reason to wait. If we do wait 1 cycle (which my husband and I had originally discussed doing) it would put us into some calendar issues and so we have decided to move forward with IVF #2. I have so many things going through my head right now and I can't even begin to get them down on paper or even describe how I really feel.  I have been so lost, lacking all hope until speaking with my RE.  Now I feel we have a good plan and the hope has begun to light inside my heart.

A few interesting things about our upcoming cycle:

• This cycle is what my RE called a "Lupron Flair" Technique or Therapy
• I will be taking 2 shots a day
• we are "waking" up my ovaries, no more suppressing them
• I am now taking 13 pills a day till I am told not too.  The goal of these supplements is to help egg quality.
• Co Q-10: 200mg
• DHEA: 50mg
• D3: 2000mg

IFV Day 31: 10dp3dt

10 days past 3 day transfer, 13 days past ovulation, 1 day before beta

Aunt flow, period, monthly cycle whatever you want to call it has begun.

Cycle # 14 begins, even thought the official beta blood work is tomorrow.

IFV Day 30: 9dp3dt

9 days past 3 day transfer and 12 days past ovulation

negative

began spotting tonight

All I can think is that my twins died in my belly and now these 2 embies died in my belly.

Babies die inside of me.

IFV Day 29: 8dp3dt

8 days past 3 day transfer or 11 days past ovulation

negative

had major break down today, losing hope.

IFV Day 28: 7dp3dt

7 days past 3 day transfer or 10 days past ovulation

pg test= negative